It has been almost a month since we arrived in Calgary as immigrant, left our cosy home, relatives, and moved to nowhere. I mean, to a place where no one knows us, waits for us or cares about us. I ask Ahmed frequently if it was really worth it. It is too early to say now. I can say that I love our new home, I like the location of our new apartment, I was happy to come HOME from the airport. It was all possible thanks to Ludmila, who found this place for us. We settled in quite comfortably and with no hassle. Furniture purchase was possible thanks to Leigh, a fantastic Saskatchewan girl, who made us feel loved and accepted. There so few people in the world that you feel affection to. When I saw Leigh it was like seeing a sister. And then there was Kim, who we liked a lot too. She invited me to a lovely dinner theater, which gave me an idea of what can be done in Calgary once you have a bit of extra cash and want a bit of culture.
Still I keep asking myself why we really moved here. The second day I was here I realized one thing - I felt calm and stress-free. I wonder why on earth it happened and how. Then when I looked around and saw no traffic jams, no overcrowded streets, no maniac drivers who scare the s..t out of you when they drive, no drivers honking their bloody horns demanding that you yield threatening to run you over if you don't. There is no rush, no stress, no poverty that you see in the streets. I can understand those people who are well off at home and are ready to leave everything to move to the west. I think once you achieve a certain level of financial security you want to see happy people around. You can't live in a bubble, you go out sometimes. Seeing unhappy people who can barely make both ends meet cannot make people happy unless one is so insecure and tries to establish oneself at the expense of others. One starts thinking about equality and justice for all. I realized what made me unhappy at home. Yeah, a fantastic country with rich oil reserves, great climate, mountains, beaches, family, friends, what else can one wish for??? But the feeling of walking on the glass floor was always present, the fear of losing what you have, the fear of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It has gotten much better but this bugging feeling somewhere down inside made it impossible for me to stay home. Plus, the travel lust, the challenge of being able to do what most people didn't dare to dream of was appealing too. Yeah, entering a country legally without being a liability for the country is a different thing. I have seen too often marginal people who were ready to sell everyone and everything to go to a country, in the US, in Europe these marginals would step over all their principles to get their goal such as claim to be refugees, gold diggers, invent lies. There used to be the time when I despised such people for having no principles. Do I blame them now? I don't. We all are responsible for our actions. I am just proud that up until now I followed my principles. Here I am, Canada!!!
Still I keep asking myself why we really moved here. The second day I was here I realized one thing - I felt calm and stress-free. I wonder why on earth it happened and how. Then when I looked around and saw no traffic jams, no overcrowded streets, no maniac drivers who scare the s..t out of you when they drive, no drivers honking their bloody horns demanding that you yield threatening to run you over if you don't. There is no rush, no stress, no poverty that you see in the streets. I can understand those people who are well off at home and are ready to leave everything to move to the west. I think once you achieve a certain level of financial security you want to see happy people around. You can't live in a bubble, you go out sometimes. Seeing unhappy people who can barely make both ends meet cannot make people happy unless one is so insecure and tries to establish oneself at the expense of others. One starts thinking about equality and justice for all. I realized what made me unhappy at home. Yeah, a fantastic country with rich oil reserves, great climate, mountains, beaches, family, friends, what else can one wish for??? But the feeling of walking on the glass floor was always present, the fear of losing what you have, the fear of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It has gotten much better but this bugging feeling somewhere down inside made it impossible for me to stay home. Plus, the travel lust, the challenge of being able to do what most people didn't dare to dream of was appealing too. Yeah, entering a country legally without being a liability for the country is a different thing. I have seen too often marginal people who were ready to sell everyone and everything to go to a country, in the US, in Europe these marginals would step over all their principles to get their goal such as claim to be refugees, gold diggers, invent lies. There used to be the time when I despised such people for having no principles. Do I blame them now? I don't. We all are responsible for our actions. I am just proud that up until now I followed my principles. Here I am, Canada!!!
Thanks for doing this, Farida. Remember your thesis. Now you are living another of those cross cultural experiences. Soon you will be saying "aboot" for "about" and will sound just like a native.
ReplyDeleteThere is always that period when one enters a new place where one looks around and tries to understand where one can fit in the new scheme of things.
And your vision is fresh so you will see things no others see.
Miles