Thoughts about the economic system

I have signed up for a business management course at the university and started discovering some new area, the area of business and economics. Why I did that I dunno. I feel some hunger for knowledge and interestingly my previous MA thesis helps me a lot in understanding business.

I had an interesting discussion with A who helped me see a bigger picture. Apart from my superficial judgment of Canada, I started seeing a bigger picture, not what makes Canada a developed country but why it a developed country. My discussion with A was about how bad life is back home and how everything is in the hands of one family. I was arguing that we are a purely capitalistic state now, we own property, we have the right to make profit (with some exceptions), we make free choices (or the own that the state allows us to make, which the same in many countries), we have the right to compete these days. The days of planned economy are long gone. I agree that the FAMILY owns property in the country and there is corruption and bribery and I am not saying I am proud of those. We compared the current development of the land of fire with the developments in Iran and we drew some parallels. Similar situations, similar development of events, so far many similarities than differences. I was surprised that even the first ladies look alike. A. met someone from Iran in a store the other day and the guy was telling him how wonderful life was in Iran during the Shah's reign, that guy told him how rich people became overnight and how wonderful life was. The same happened at home, we became rich overnight and shipped all the foreigners to the country relying on their knowledge and expertise. In fact, like Iran we were also bought by the Brits, although on certain conditions. Whether the contract was a good idea or not I can't say now. All I can say is that many commoners got jobs and made good money by working for giants like BP. I often hear people complaining about BP and I am so ready to punch them in their faces. Whatever we have as a country came after the contract was signed. Many unqualified people got income they could never dream of because of the oil revenues that started pouring into the country. People still complained. They complain even now. Yet, every time I go home I see people dressed up top notch, all in designer clothes, every other person has an Iphone, which is NOT free, they have to pay money for it, which, I am sure is double of what it is in North America. No one has an ordinary phone, it is a competition who get a bigger, better, more expensive phones. I always ask myself, if people really live so poorly where the heck is the money to buy that? Go to a village and all people always build houses. Yes, they have no bathrooms, but they always find money to buy gold, build a house, buy dowry. I am aware it is a part of culture but still everyone complains. I have been going back and forth for the last 7 years and it is not the same country every time I go there. Things change more rapidly than I can realize. Economic growth is so rapid that it is hard to comprehend. For someone, who lives there, it is not noticeable, all people see is dirt, dust, construction sites. No one seems to notice how gorgeous the city is, everyone only complains and it has almost turned into a national habit. The reason is greed. We have a lot more opportunities to travel now and see the world , so we want to have the same standards, the same infrastructure, the same comfort, the same standard of living and the same quality of living. And it all we want overnight, right now, right here! And we complain. No one ever thinks that for whatever people want back home people in developed countries PAY. Nothing is free here, in the condo you live, you pay condo fees to maintain order and cleanliness, the roads are paid from taxpayers' pockets. Every time I see my paycheck I almost cry at how much money I lose every month in taxes. When I look at the people back home, they are much better off than me, who makes triple of what a high income back home is. What do I have here? The cheapest possible car and rent and very little disposable income? Almost everyone owns their place and car. Some take a loan but it is not popular. Their apartments are bigger, better, newer, their cars are a lot more expensive than here. People pay cash for everything. No one wants to pay taxes, yet everyone demands a certain living standard and bash the country for bribery and corruption. The very same people would be amongst the first ones to rebel if the country was to introduce the taxes of North America. And then people back home call me lucky. Lucky because I work my butt off doing 2 jobs and still have nothing at the end of the day. To go to a cafe back home one should have at least 25$, here I can got to Tim Horton's with 5$. But back home I have to be dressed up every time I go out, whereas here I can wear whatever I want. Still, my question is where the money comes from back home??? Yet, everyone complains at how expensive things are and how little money they make but everyone lives better than people in a developed country.

I think I am off track now. The reason why I started blabber-mouthing is WHY the developed world is developed. A. was telling me how Singapore became a developed country thanks to someone who eliminated bribery and corruption there. The person's name is Yosef Bin Ishak. He supposedly threw his siblings to jail for embezzling money and some illegal activities, thus showing that everyone regardless of WHO they are will be punished if the break the law. He eliminated corruption.

I told A that corruption will be eliminated back home only when the ideas of 'family' and 'relationships' disappear. A family is like a link in a chain, if one link is missing the chain falls apart. It is the same in many cultures. Root out the family, you will see a different person. However, how many of us are ready to go against their families?! It was easier for me to leave my country than say 'no' to my family and I don't just mean immediate family but the extended one as well. How could I live happily knowing that my sister is needy, or brother has no money to pay for his education, or my parents have no money? I wouldn't sleep well, that's for sure, and do everything I can to help them out and I did and will continue doing it.

 It is only in Canada and US children can call 911 and they are encouraged to call 911 if their parents abuse them whether verbally of physically. Parents are afraid of their children here, because children belong to the state and parents have no control over them. Back home, even if my mom cut my flesh with a knife, I would have never complained to an outsider, I'd prefer to be killed than go against my family. It is not surprising that all dictators see their families that way. Family is a safe haven for many people.

I remember from my cross-cultural leadership class that it is a fact that it was only protestant countries who are the most developed. Look at Greece, Italy, Spain where Catholicism is the predominant religion. The countries are deep in debt, corruption, mafia, etc. They are a part of the EU, that is why no one picks on them. I don't want to see the day when EU dissolves. At the same time, the US, UK, Canada, and those countries with immigrant population and protestant religion are developed. Those immigrants who arrived here were social pariahs, outcasts, they lost all their connection with their families, they came here and established their own connections and build a different society, the society they wanted. Since Canada always gets immigrants who lose touch with their roots back home the immigrants have to adapt, their children are Canadians whether they want it or not. As a famous Canadian comedian, Russel Peters said, 'How can I be an Indian if I have never seen India? Why should we call black Americans African Americans if they have never been to Africa? Why not just call them Black Americans?'

Who will my kids be? Who am I now? Do I fit in the society I come from? I don't know but I love my family...

Canadian Degrees

Canadian degrees are a money making machine! They are all about ripping immigrants off. When you come here, you know nothing, your experience means nothing, your degrees mean nothing and you are a non-entity here. And you are expected to kneel down and kiss the ground once you land here. You are expected to say HOW HAPPY you are to be here, you MUST show gratitude for entering this great country and you must admire the health care system here (oh yeah!!!) and you must absolutely have no opinion except for the one people want to hear.

Back to degrees. Certificate in Janitorial Services - will teach you how to become a professional cleaner. CLEANER!!! It is a paid program, a couple of thousand bucks to become a cleaner. I wonder how many Canadians are enrolled in the program. This was offered by Columbia College. Now it is called Healthcare Housekeeping Program.

Health Information Office Assistant - what a great certificate program to enroll into. As if any admin assistant couldn't do this job. You have to pay to be a Health Information office assistant.

Sterile Processing Technician - this is the funniest certificate course I heard about. My good friend when studied at school needed to write an assignment on 'my mom's job'. Her mom asked her friend to tell my friend about her job. She was a sterile processing technician at a clinic. All that woman did was to put medical instruments into a solution, wait for 5 min and put them away. What a job! What nurses do, I wonder...

Railway conductor. You have to pay thousands of $$ to learn how to say hello, how are you and can you show me your ticket.

The list is quite extensive, I will be adding more degrees later.

Wherever you go in Canada, you need to pay to prove your qualifications. I wonder if immigrants stopped coming here where all the money would come from and if these degrees would even exist. 

Peace Police

This is really funny this peace police thing. Why are people surprised when they see morals police in Saudi Arabia, called mutawwa and everyone thinks it is normal to have Peace Officers here.
No, however, I know exactly why they exist - to punish fare dodgers. Well, they target only immigrants because Canadians (non-immigrants) cannot be fare dodgers, no way!
I was on the train one day when two peace police officers entered the train. They checked if everyone had a ticket and there was a couple (a white couple) who had no tickets. What do you think the peace officer did? Instead of issuing a ticket, he said: Ok, no problem, make sure you have tickets next time.
The next day I was on the train. Accidentally, I left my monthly pass in the pocket of my other jacket. Shit happens, rite? According to Murphy's Law, the peace officers entered the train and while checking the tickets, I happened to have none. I was asked to leave the train at the nearest stop and follow the peace police. I was devastated and ashamed. I felt like a criminal walking out of the train. Well, the big dude with blue eyes stared at me and asked for my ID, I had only a health card. He asked me if I ever received a ticket before and I said NO, never. He said, Well, this is the time. You have to pay 150$. Boom! For what? I said I had a pass, I just left it and I offered to buy a ticket. No, he said, you have to pay the fine for not presenting a valid ticket when asked. Fine, I said, I will pay.
At the same time, another peace officer was chatting up a local girl who had no pass. Instead of writing her a ticket, he was chatting with her. I waited to see if she would get the ticket and she didn't .
I paid this stupid fine today. It is stated on the ticket that one should send it by registered mail. Holy cow! Extra 9$ to send a stupid letter within Calgary! So the fine is 159$ now. What a rip off!
Inevitably, I thought how different westerners get treated in other countries. They adjust very well in other cultures and then know they can act with impunity because local authorities, at least in my home country, will say we should respect guests (never mind they will shit on us) and no fine should be issued because we don't want to offend guests. Here, you pay double because you are a foreigner, an immigrant, that is WHERE the money comes from and you are treated like a criminal.
I remember one of my students was fined twice in one day for not having a ticket because she didn't speak English and didn't know where to buy a ticket. But issuing a fine twice is illegal here. Eventually, someone explained to her in Spanish where and how to get a ticket but she still had to pay a fine on her first day in Calgary. 

Different names for the same problems

There is something that I have wanted to write about for a while - how the same things have different names depending on whether you come from a 'developed' world or 'underdeveloped' world.

What we call nepotism back home is called NETWORKING here. One can rarely get a job here unless one knows someone else who works for a company. I just don't understand WHY westerners roll their eyes and sign every time they hear of nepotism. I lost count of all the jobs I applied for and the jobs that I got were all through nepotism, oh, sorry, networking. I attended all possible training sessions on writing and rewriting my resume and cover letters, networking (although most of the people at all those events were unemployed immigrants like myself, so don't really get how a blind can help the blind), cold calling companies and asking why my resume wasn't chosen. At one of the sessions, the presenter (who is also an HR specialist) said that half of the time the company doesn't even look at your resume. The best way to get a job is through making a phone call and introducing yourself to the hiring manager (well, I wonder how I can get the hiring manager's name), then telling him about your intent to apply for a job. Or find someone who knows someone else in the company. Bingo! We call it nepotism, people. Networking to us is getting together, talking business, sip tea or coffee, smile and say bye at the end of the day. Ahhhhh, hypocritical westerners, the breeders of corruption and nepotism!

I like it that people here talk about corruption in OTHER countries, but NOT here. No, no, no, what are you talking about?! That c... word is not for developed countries, because all the fees here are legalized. A. is trying to get his driver's license. The first time he went for a knowledge test he failed it, fair enough, we paid 17$ each time for the test.

The road test was another expensive disaster. He paid 200$ for the test. 200$!
168$ (eye check, height, weight, picture taken) +40$ for a car rental. Gof bless America! I got my license for 50$! It was easy-peasy, lemon squeezy. God bless America million times. I have never been so pro-American in my life as I am now. The affordability of life, the value of what you get for your bucks, the quality of life in the US, oh my, I miss it so much now. What would this country do without the US?! It would probably turn into Belarus, producing wheat and potatoes and nothing else. Well, I guess people can survive on that too. Back to the topic.

A. has failed his test and will have to pay another 110$ for another road test. Holy cow! The fees are outrageous, 300$ is a weekly gross income of a part-time Walmart worker here! Back home I had a choice to pay a bribe or try to take a test myself for 25$. Fair enough, you don't want to try, pay the fees, yes, to a private pocket but I still had a choice. Eventually, the driver's license here will cost us what we would have paid in bribes back home if we chose to. Just love living here even more...

The Issue of Trust

This is particularly interesting to me here - the issue of trust. I wonder if people even trust anyone here. I was at an info session of CES at YWCA one day and I was completely shocked by the statement one of the trainers made. She said, and I am quoting her here: 'Most of you come from the countries where no one trusts each other. Here, in Canada you will learn how to trust. Canadian trust you easily'. I almost choked with laughter. Never heard such nonsense before. Here? Trust? Hmmm...

All those background checks, police checks, child abuse checks, child welfare checks, alcohol test, drug test that one has to go through before one starts work here is incredible. I am not even mentioning the reference checks they do when they ask for references and actually contact them.

If this happens in C-A-N-A-D-A where people TRUST, I don't want to imagine what we would have to go through if there was no trust in the country.

No one actually ever asked me for references before; most of those checks that exist here do not exist in most countries.

Yet, with all these checks and rechecks and trust you come across pedophiles and sickos who rape kids and are abusers. Not that pedophiles do not exist back home but the thing is back home and in many countries they face a much severe punishment than in Canada and US. I heard that back home pedophiles are locked for a long term and pedophilia and rape are the most severely punished crimes in prisons. Since the punishment is harsh people are afraid of committing these crimes. Whereas here commit a crime, get a good lawyer and you get a light sentence or conditional sentence or just walk away a free man. Here is the justice system for you.

My First CANADIAN Experience

I was surprised by the thing I heard when I first arrived: YOU SHOULD HAVE CANADIAN EXPERIENCE. There are dozens of government sponsored programs that give you that experience in the form of UNPAID internship. You slave for 12 weeks with a local company that pays you nothing to get that experience and someone who is much less educated and qualified than you gets paid for it. Meanwhile, you have to pay your bills, rent, transportation etc. BUT you are getting that experience. There are lots of people I know who came here looking for Canadian experience who could not afford to be a slave to gain that experience and no one would give them a job. 'Your English is great BUT you don't have a Canadian experience'......Where the hell are people supposed to get it if NO ONE wants to give them a job?!

I was lucky that I got my first Canadian experience which was decently paid. It lasted only 7 weeks but I decided to keep volunteering with the organization later although with a different department.
Anyway, apparently the culture of an organization totally depends on the culture of its leadership. The culture I encountered was totally different from the one I expected. A lot of micromanagement was going on. There is a hierarchy of relationship and a closed door policy. It was a mini communist state with high level of bureaucracy in the best traditions of  Mao Zedong. Obedience, silence, following unwritten 'protocol' that you are not aware of and that wasn't communicated to me when I came to work, constant spying, checking your desktop to see what you are up to, holy cow, I had never seen such an organizational culture in my lifetime, and I come from a very traditional hierarchical society. The boss desperately wanted to control everyone, the obsession with numbers not quality of service to satisfy the top management was crazy! The staff consisted of the 2 predominant ethnic groups in the world, and this was a bunch of 'yes'men. It was suffocating to just be there. My immediate manager (although there were so many of those who wanted to be my immediate managers, I didn't know exactly what the organizational structure looked like) walked to my door, looked into the room and walked back to her room. Sometimes, the top manager would run into my room look around as if searching for something and ran out. Then I was told that I have to follow the protocol, which is written in the air and have to be cautious when I go to another workplace.

I inadvertently created some problems for middle management because of my outspokenness. I had a chance to participate in a diversity training led by some dude from Ottawa. The guy who has never read jackshit about culture and diversity, never completed a single course on the topic was giving a session to a bunch of HR managers. The guy was so rude that if I were in the place of those managers, I would have just left. Canadians are polite people, even if you are wrong they might not tell you that you are wrong. This dude was plain insulting, he didn't even want to introduce me and my colleague to the audience. It was only after one of the HR managers asked him to introduce us, he unwillingly asked us to introduce ourselves.

The whole workshop was bullshit from the beginning. I didn't stay till the end because I had to go to an interview. But I made the dude uncomfortable. It was a lecture to start with and it promised to turn into a disaster. I then interfered. Having completed my thesis in Culture, I remember the theory and could make the conversation on culture much livelier. The dude couldn't answer a simple question of what a Canadian culture is. He said there wasn't such a thing as a Canadian culture. Bull....! OF COURSE THERE IS! I interfered at this point and started talking about what culture is in general and how cultures differ from each other. Dr. Bryant's efforts paid off. I remembered Hofstede and his good old theory of culture and the people were interested at least. The presenter was infuriated. He couldn't say a sentence without me interjecting something after it. I did it on purpose. I can't take other people's crap and I am convinced that if you are paid you MUST do a good job. His arrogance, insistence on things that he was saying wrong and that was clear to others, rudeness and stupidity I just couldn't take. He later told my colleague who was a moderator how much he enjoyed my presence in the workshop. Later he complained to the boss that I ruined the workshop for him by interfering with it. My immediate manager got reprimanded for NOT following the invisible protocol.

Such organizational culture is definitely not mine. I cannot believe it is a Canadian culture either. I wish Canada was a melting pot like America and imposed its own culture on newcomers.

Most of the people I met were from the same cultural background as the middle and senior management and didn't have much say in what was going on. Most of them would slit your throat to keep their jobs.
I was surprised when I saw that at my farewell party today only one person who I have been working for only a week said nice things about me. Well, I didn't do much work before this last week because I was constantly excluded from work. They wouldn't let me do what the other staff were doing. I was supposed to be glued to my chair and keep silent. Because the organization had extra funding that they had to spend in order to apply for more funding next year, they hired me and my colleague. As a result, we were excluded as staff members and were mere furniture there. I wouldn't have minded that if they had allowed me to communicate at least. I feel so bad that because my social nature some colleagues of mine were told off. I befriended a nice girl who had worked for Child Welfare Services before. I absolutely enjoyed talking to her and listening to her stories. After all, it was a learning experience for me, I was expected to learn as much as I could and I tried. So we would spend lunch time together talking about the job she had done. Well, someone didn't like that and she got told off. We stopped talking altogether. I totally understand the girl, her practicum depends on this organization, she paid for it not to be reprimanded by General Mao, who is a complete failure at giving feedback and is on a fault finding mission all the time. I personally didn't have any encounters with him but I knew he was a control freak and demanded complete obedience. I couldn't care less though. I am not a yes man and if I have to stand up for myself, I can do that better than anyone.

But I enjoyed the last week of my work working with a different manager, who was Irish and definitely knew how to manage others, not control them. She made the last week such a pleasurable experience for me that I loved working with her. Wish more people were like her.

Well, I found it hard to work with immigrants tho. But I made very good friends and I can say that overall I learned more about diverse populations in Calgary. Good or bad, it was an experience! My CANADIAN experience......whatever that is............

Almost 4 months in the Land of Eternal Cold

It is hard to believe that it has been 4 months since we came here. I am still trying to figure out what brought me here. I meet different people, talk to them, observe them and I still feel I do not see a clear aim of being here. I desperately wanted a change, now I am desperately coping with it.
I had a temp job in one of organizations and had a chance to work with other immigrants. I am not sure I liked it much although it was a great experience that I learned from. The information I got from this experience. i got a glimpse of immigrants' life in Canada and most of the experiences I saw were not the happy ones. This country never stops surprising me. A. keeps attending English classes and more than English he is taught LIFE SKILLS. At his level he already knows how to read and write and has quite good speaking and does shopping on his own. Why would he be taken to a grocery store to learn how to read prices and the names of fruit and veggies?! I understand that some people might need that but not at his level. People in his class have already been here for ages, they surely know how to ask 'how much something is'.

 Sometimes I feel people here think that those who come from overseas are dumb and need to learn essential things here. I remember a friend of mine from work was asked to attend a presentation by Alberta Health on reproductive health and they were teaching the participants how to wear a condom. That is just hilarious! They were actually showing how to wear it and had an artificial d...k they put a condom on. I would be so embarrassed!!!!! I wouldn't even attend that show. I thought this country was suffering from the opposite problem and they would teach people how to encourage people to multiply not prevent birth. Another thing that surprises me is the courses they offer. I recently saw a certification course on FUNERAL EDUCATION!!!!!!!!!!! A Director of Funeral services and an Embalmer. WHAT A DEGREE! I am sure one day they will require people to get certified to offer these services. It is an invaluable degree for the job, which costs $8585 with Mount Royal University. I almost peed my pants when I came across that degree. This is something that people do for FREE in many parts of the world. In Judaism and Islam this is something that is encouraged and people volunteer to do it. I wonder if they have a class on how to not take advantage of the corpses and not violate them as morticians are known to do. I read an interview with a mortician from California who violated corpses.

Another degree that is just ridiculous is Certificate in Janitorial Services. People who come here certainly need that when they want to work as cleaners. You surely need to have a degree in it. One woman told my friend that this certificate actually helped her to get into cleaning business and get a job as a cleaner. They had a class where they were taught how to MOP FLOORS......She thought it would be some magic mop but it was a regular mop from dollar store. This is a paid certificate course. Soon I am sure one will have to be a licensed cleaner to get a job as a cleaner.

Of course, it is clear this is one of the ways of making money. They offer certificates in everything to make more money.


Another thing that I find shocking is how people here think how great this place is and it is the best in the world. Nowhere else did I see so many homeless people that are so dirty. This state has so many shelters and so much help is being poured into eradicating poverty that I can't imagine why anyone would want to live like this. I often heard Canadians say how shitty other countries were and how great Canada is. I am not denying the second part but I have a big problem with the first part. I used to have a complex back home when I saw garbage dumps and dirty buses and thought how dirty everything was. Public transport here is no better in terms of cleanliness. The buses are so filthy that I have to clean my bags with a disinfectant every single time I use the bus. On the C-train you see footprint on every seat, I have to carry wet wipes to clean the seat. I know, I am OCD but even back home I have never seen this dirt. People touch the sole of their shoes and then touch the handles. I carry a sanitiser with me wherever I go, I am too squeamish.  The only smell I haven't smelled yet on the bus was garlic, which I am sure I will one day. Why I am mentioning that is because when I saw Canadians abroad I felt like they all belonged to royalty and this dirt could exist ONLY in 'underdeveloped countries'. This is actually the term I heard on CTV (Calgary TV) - 'underdeveloped countries'!!! I actually met a couple of people who took buses in Saudi Arabia and complained like hell about the buses being dirty. I did take a bus too and it was no different that anywhere else, to be honest. Those people who complain need to take Forest Lawn buses...I do admit thought that public transport in Europe is impeccable, even in overpopulated London buses and metro were much cleaner. It is just the superiority complex that this country has that gets to me...........Just don't think this a perfect place just because you get people who never saw electricity and shat in the streets, not all people that come here are the same....................

Calgary has nice things as well and I am slowly discovering them. I don't feel lonely here anymore. I met nice people here who we became close to. We met a fantastic family from Georgia and visited them twice this month. We had great discussions and fantastic food. I met some other that are worth mentioning. I was invited to a Pakistani lady's house one Saturday and had a great with her and her friends. I love that woman, she is so genuine, hospitable and sincere, which I thought would be hard to find here. Another girl is my coworker too who I invited to my Friday pizza. I realized that I keep meeting the nicest people and I absolutely enjoy their company.

My only concern at the moment is getting a better job that will pay the bills. Otherwise I will leave before I become a financial burden on this country......

Week 6

Insomnia started kicking in again. I thought my insomnia and heart palpitations were the things of the past but as soon as I think so they remind me of themselves. I guess, I know the reason - unemployed, in a different country, living on savings, and anxious about the future. What can be worse? I can't remember the last time I was unemployed. I have always been working 14-16 hours a day and here you go, no job now. At least, I can speak English, it is a saviour. The other day I started volunteering as an ESL teacher and when I saw the immigrants living here for 3-5 years speaking pidgin English or no English I was terrified. After all, things are not that bad for us, we both speak the language. I honestly admire those people who, not having enough language proficiency, decide to immigrate. My first day as a volunteer didn't start well. The temperature was -30 and I couldn't feel my nostrils, my eyebaalls, I thought, were threatening to turn into icicles, I couldn't open and close them without pain. The weather was so nasty. I better be in +50 in a Saudi desert than -30 here. I just hope this ugly weather goes away soon. I can't wait for chinook. Calgary looks so ugly when the weather is so cold. My first impressions of the city were not positive at all. I remember I compared Calgary to St. Louis and someone said "I heard it is an ugly city" to which I replied "So is Calgary" and bit my lip. I can never hold my tongue...Well, Calgary is not a pretty city, to me, it looks like any mid-west city in the US, I cannot see anything different here, yet, people keep talking about unique Canadian culture. I thought even Lincoln, NE was better. Calgary from the plane reminded me of some rural town with tall building in the center and spread out paper houses and condos around.
Well, social system, government and lots of things maybe different but wherever you go you see Walmart, Shoppers (copy paste of Walgreens), Coop, Safeway, roads like in the US. There are no visible signs of uniqueness. Maybe later when I start integrating more I will see the differences but now I can't see much and I can't tell the difference. Well, there is a difference: everything is MUCH slower here. Permanent residence cards have not arrived yet, health cards we got after a month, the only thing that worked fast was the bank and the banks stay open till 8 pm, which I think is great. All the rest seems to take an eternity. Also, I can feel the time here. It is when you live in a place for a month and it seems like a year. This feeling is non existent in the US, the pace of life is unimaginably fast, in the twinkling of an eye the year is gone.
Houses here deserve my special attention. We call them cardboard houses. Whether it is condo or a house, they are all built of thick cardboard, most are wooden framed. It is so funny I feel like we are living in a match box. we are lucky to have got a newly renovated condo with a lovely balcony. But it is still a match box. When I think of condos back home made of concrete and solid bricks it feels strange how despite of the fact that we live in a match box, it is much warmer here with the temperature - 35 and how cold it can get back home when the temperature drops to +3-+5, the apartment turns into a freezer and the electricity company benefits most from this (cos all my heaters are(were) on). And here this match box is so warm that I wear shorts and a tank top inside.
Food is another story! What I miss most from back home is FOOD! The smell of freshly baked ORGANIC bread with nice ORGANIC goat cheese and sweet watermelon. Hmmm...I looked at bread here and was terrified - it is a mixture of an elephant with a monkey, I read words like ammonium chloride, calcium sulphate monoglycerides sound scary to say the least. what happened to that nice bread made of flour, yeast and water??? That is how we bake it! I am not a good baker but I am determined to bake my own bread as soon as I find organic wholewheat flour. I miss Mom's meat pies most. That fantastic mouthwatering meat pie with ORGANIC meat, potatoes, onions and herbs. I could smell it when I got close to the block. Or Mom's rice. People talk here about Chinese food and how 'awesome' that is. I can't eat it, well, I tried to eat it and I can eat it but I don't enjoy it at all. I don't like seafood, soy sauce and MSGs that is added to it. And I am not a particular fan of sticky Jasmine rice. Mom's fantastic plov is incomparable, it is not cooked in a rice cooker but in a special rice pot. It has a delicious rice crust made of yogurt, eggs, rice, coriander seeds and a bit of cumin powder. After that, eating white sticky rice is a sin for me. Well, it is 2.20 am, I am off to bed now.

One month in the land of eternal cold!

It has been almost a month since we arrived in Calgary as immigrant, left our cosy home, relatives, and moved to nowhere. I mean, to a place where no one knows us, waits for us or cares about us. I ask Ahmed frequently if it was really worth it. It is too early to say now. I can say that I love our new home, I like the location of our new apartment, I was happy to come HOME from the airport. It was all possible thanks to Ludmila, who found this place for us. We settled in quite comfortably and with no hassle. Furniture purchase was possible thanks to Leigh, a fantastic Saskatchewan girl, who made us feel loved and accepted. There so few people in the world that you feel affection to. When I saw Leigh it was like seeing a sister. And then there was Kim, who we liked a lot too. She invited me to a lovely dinner theater, which gave me an idea of what can be done in Calgary once you have a bit of extra cash and want a bit of culture.
Still I keep asking myself why we really moved here. The second day I was here I realized one thing - I felt calm and stress-free. I wonder why on earth it happened and how. Then when I looked around and saw no traffic jams, no overcrowded streets, no maniac drivers who scare the s..t out of you when they drive, no drivers honking their bloody horns demanding that you yield threatening to run you over if you don't. There is no rush, no stress, no poverty that you see in the streets. I can understand those people who are well off at home and are ready to leave everything to move to the west. I think once you achieve a certain level of financial security you want to see happy people around. You can't live in a bubble, you go out sometimes. Seeing unhappy people who can barely make both ends meet cannot make people happy unless one is so insecure and tries to establish oneself at the expense of others. One starts thinking about equality and justice for all. I realized what made me unhappy at home. Yeah, a fantastic country with rich oil reserves, great climate, mountains, beaches, family, friends, what else can one wish for??? But the feeling of walking on the glass floor was always present, the fear of losing what you have, the fear of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It has gotten much better but this bugging feeling somewhere down inside made it impossible for me to stay home. Plus, the travel lust, the challenge of being able to do what most people didn't dare to dream of was appealing too. Yeah, entering a country legally without being a liability for the country is a different thing. I have seen too often marginal people who were ready to sell everyone and everything to go to a country, in the US, in Europe these marginals would step over all their principles to get their goal such as claim to be refugees, gold diggers, invent lies. There used to be the time when I despised such people for having no principles. Do I blame them now? I don't. We all are responsible for our actions. I am just proud that up until now I followed my principles. Here I am, Canada!!!

Week 5

It has been 5 weeks since we set foot on the land of eternal cold. It has been 5 weeks of job search as well. Today I had an employment coaching session with a great local guy Josh who gave me some tips about my CV. Apparently, CVs should change according to the job. You can't apply for a managerial position if you have only teaching experience. Tip1 - modify it according to the skills required for the job. Well, I have to rework it again. What an irony: I used to teach my students how to write a CV, it seems like it is my turn to relearn some of my skills. Anyway, I talked to Josh who seems to be a nice guy. We talked a lot about where I come from and how different things are. I mentioned that it is interesting that when one goes to a 'developed' country, the assumption is that those who enter the country will kneel down and kiss the land. I can't blame anyone for thinking that way since the majority of immigrants was under-privileged in their own country and people are simply happy to escape. Well, seeing highly educated, fluent in English immigrants is not a common phenomenon. I sometimes wonder myself how some people here get a job, you need to know how to express your ideas, to say the least.
Anyway, today's meeting was interesting. We went to Tim Horton's, famous Canadian coffee shop and continued talking about Canada. I must have seemed pretty frustrated about our current situation cos when he asked me if I liked it in Calgary I said 'not really'. Well, unemployed, no friends, no family, no one to turn to if in need (except for 911, I guess), no one to talk to since everyone is busy with their own lives. Who the hell cares about these immigrants who come from God knows where...Can't blame anyone and I can't expect anything different anyway. This is the life I saw in the US and, no matter how incompatible it maybe with my cultural background, I decided to embrace this new life. I had a choice at least, I should grateful to my fate for that. Many people do not have such a choice.
Yesterday I had my first interview and I am waiting for an answer. We'll see. I will be happy to get something but I am not too hopeful. The location seemed quite far away from the LRT line, somewhere in SE, although the bus service seems to be pretty regular and timely. The interviewers were quite nice and impressed but you never know. If I don't get the job I will try not to be too upset about it - there will be other opportunities, I am sure. Plus, things are not that bad after all if I got my first interview after 5 weeks of being here. It was actually quite interesting to walk into the building and see all these different people from different countries, colors and backgrounds coming to CIES for their English classes. It reminded me of a British TV show of the 1960s when an English teacher, Mr.Brown starts teaching a class of students from different countries. It is a hilarious TV shows, not very PC but I'd prefer Ms. Courtney saying "FOREIGNERS!" with frustration to seeing plaster smiles on people's faces thinking "BLOODY FOREIGNERS, what the hell are you doing here?" Well, anyway, that place must be a fun place to work at.